The altar call men were always strategic. They had lots of moves. Many a time I stood, only to then be riddled with doubt, "Wait, was I supposed to stand? Hm, it's only boys standing. Oh, you know...he definitely just asked the boys to stand and commit to being good husbands one day. Yep...pardon me while I have a seat."Also, I'm sure I messed up a few of the salvation counts these speakers went back home with. My bad, guys.
There are some standard moves that I can recall:
The "Speak in confusing sentences so people don't really know what they're coming forward for" move.
He just said come forward if you want to dedicate your life to Jesus. I already did that. Do I need to go again? He sure is yelling a lot, and I can't really keep track of what he's saying anymore. Hold up,'super Christian' is going forward and the cute boy from our brother dorm is too. Ahem, right behind you guys.
The "If you aren't saved come forward. If you hate babies, stay in your seat. If you love Jesus come forward. If you love Satan, stay in your seat." move.
Well, I certainly don't hate babies and I do love Jesus. Hey guys, I'm already saved! I don't hate babies though and Satan's a jerk so I'm just gonna make my way to the front.
The "Write your sins on a piece of paper and nail it to this cross we've placed at the front of the room" move.
It's not that I'm knocking this little exercise, Mr. Speaker man who was "almost in the NFL". It's just that, if I walk up there someone is very likely going to hug me, or cry at me and I'm not really comfortable with that. Plus, me and a hammer in front of all these people? I should save us all that embarrassment. How about I just stay put, and me and Jesus will have a little chat here. In my comfy seat, that's not at the front of the room.
Lest you think all my church related anxiety is gone. Altar call anxiety has since been replaced with communion anxiety. The church I attend does the "come forward in your own time" communion. You're talking to a girl who had communion hand delivered to her for a long, long time. So, me, walking to the front of the room to grab communion all by myself? Anxiety city.
8 comments:
Oh the things one misses out on when they didn't grow up in the church...alter calls, catchy christian kid songs, I feel a bit deprived. =) As far as communion goes, don't forget to mark your seat so you make it back to the right row!
I may have sat in on, perhaps stood, and maybe even have gone forward on each of these occasions. I clearly have been saved at least 27.2 times.
Hmm, not sure if the comment I just left went through, so let's try again. I'm a sucker for "Come on up if you have a need." Who doesn't, right? And if I don't go forward for everyone to get all up "in my need," I'm too prideful to let go and let God. ;) BTW, I grew up with a different communion tradition. Two women (or men) sat at the table in front of the altar, two women stood behind them to silently pray ("tarry"). The seated ones took communion then traded spots with the tarriers, and on it went. Small church, but this could drag communion out for an hour easily. And EVERYONE knew if you'd gone forward or "stayed back because you knew you were unworthy," hence necessitating an altar call for unconfessed sin. Fun times!
You are really funny. How was baptism for you?
Rob, if I had to go through baptism in my adult life...it wouldn't be pretty.
Cindy,I grew up Presbyterian, and your alter call descriptions give me hives! Love it! We met at Quitter, briefly. Glad I found you here.
Thanks Tara! I remember meeting you at Quitter :-) . . . Hope you're well!
This is one of my fav posts. Sounds like your denominational background was Baptist. Don't you love it when someone asks you, " What religion are you?" I say Christian! while while they are looking for denomination. I sense your experience w/alter calls is also what gives one a fleeting doubt IF they are even saved! How tragic as I too experienced that as a younger child . Now I know that dying to sel daily & walking daily with Christ knowing that our job is also our Mission in Christ, gives us a truer Biblical Worldview of how we should conduct ourselves .
I see the mistake if some Christian schools in adding Bible classes... instead of each teacher being trained to teach Biblical Worldview within their subject. Believe me I've experienced both in my teaching career. And then had to teach in public school up send my sons to college, where they was no Bible classes much less could I teach Science from a Biblical Worldview! I would have been fired! However I asked the Lord to build. Hedge of protection around me esp. when I had to teach Evolution . I presented Evolution as. Theory by Evolutionists AND also presented Creation by Creationists...the latter which woul have gotten me fired b/c it was not an SOL in the state of VA. KEEP up your writing CINDY..GOD has given you a truer awakening!!!! Selah!
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